NFA Finance

I had to think about this one.

I’m a very optimistic person. I believe I can do anything I decide to put the work into. That doesn’t mean I think everything will be easy or that I know how to do everything. But figuring it out has always been part of the process.

Starting a business? I believe I can.
Learning something new? I believe I can.
Starting over? I’ll find a way.

So when I accomplish something, I usually don’t look back and say, “I never thought I could do that.”

I figured I could. That’s why I started.

But there is one thing I never pictured for myself.

The end of my marriage.

For the longest time, I couldn’t imagine my life going in that direction. When you build a life with somebody, you make plans with that person in them. You picture a future. You assume certain things will still be there years down the road.

And a marriage involves two people. Your determination, your effort, and your belief in what’s possible don’t give you control over another person’s choices.

That’s a difficult thing to accept when you’re used to believing you can figure almost anything out.

You can work harder at a business. You can practice a skill. You can change your habits.

You can’t make every decision for both people in a relationship.

Going through the end of a marriage was something I never imagined myself doing. I wouldn’t call it an accomplishment. There’s too much wrapped up in it for that.

But I can look at my life today and recognize that I’ve lived through a change I once couldn’t picture—and I still feel optimistic.

I still have plans. I still wake up with things I want to do. I’m happy with my life, and I believe there’s a whole lot ahead of me.

That matters to me.

I don’t need to pretend everything happened the way I wanted. Some things hurt. Some things took a long time to accept. I can acknowledge that without letting it decide how I feel about the rest of my life.

Maybe that’s my answer to this prompt.

I always believed I could build a good life. What I hadn’t considered was how much that life might change along the way.

I’ve learned that I can face those changes and keep building.

And I’m still excited to see where it goes.

— Nicholas Francis
NFA Finance