NFA Finance

I’ve had plenty of stress in my life.

I’ve always been self-employed. I’ve owned businesses, dealt with uncertainty, and carried the responsibility of figuring things out. Becoming a father through adoption brought another whole level of responsibility. When people depend on you, you feel it.

So when someone asks how I manage stress, my answer comes from experience. I’ve had a lot of practice, and I think I’ve gotten pretty good at it.

A big part of it starts with how I take care of myself.

Training. Eating healthy. Being disciplined. Not drinking.

Those things matter to me every day, especially when life gets difficult. Having a routine gives me something solid to come back to. Even when I can’t control what’s happening around me, I can get up, make my bed, do my push-ups, and take care of the things in front of me.

That doesn’t make the problems disappear. It helps me show up better to deal with them.

I also need some quiet.

Some time without the phone. Without checking messages, scrolling, or listening to everybody else’s opinions. Just a little room to think.

Sometimes you need to sit with a situation long enough to understand it before you respond. I’ve gotten better at that over the years. I don’t have to react immediately just because something is uncomfortable or somebody wants an answer right now.

But the biggest thing I remind myself is three simple words:

Wait to worry.

It’s easy to hear a little bad news and let your mind run all the way to the worst possible ending. One unanswered phone call turns into a whole story. Something that might happen starts taking up your entire day.

I’ve done it. I think most of us have.

But how many times have you worried yourself sick over something that never happened? Or something that ended up being much easier to handle than you expected?

You put yourself through all that stress before you even know whether there’s a problem.

That’s where “wait to worry” helps me.

If there’s a call I need to make, I make it. If there’s something I need to prepare for, I prepare. If a problem needs my attention today, I give it my attention.

But once I’ve done what I can do, I try to leave it alone until there’s something else to act on.

I don’t need to spend the rest of the day rehearsing every way it could go wrong.

That takes discipline, too. You have to catch yourself when your mind starts running ahead. Sometimes I have to remind myself more than once: What do I actually know right now? What can I actually do right now?

Those two questions help bring me back.

I’m still going to have stressful days. There will always be business problems, family concerns, unexpected expenses, and things I wish I could fix faster.

But I’ve learned that I handle those things better when I’m healthy, clearheaded, and willing to pause before reacting.

So I keep training. I eat well. I stay away from alcohol. I put the phone down and give myself some quiet. I handle what’s in front of me.

And when I catch myself getting worked up over something that hasn’t happened yet, I come back to those three words.

Wait to worry.

— Nicholas Francis
NFA Finance