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Today’s writing prompt asked me a pretty simple question:

What’s the last movie that made you cry?

And I sat there thinking about it.

Nothing.

I honestly can’t remember.

Maybe I need to watch more movies.

Or maybe I’m just not much of a crier.

That doesn’t mean movies don’t affect me. I love a great movie. I appreciate a great story. Certain scenes will fire me up. Some will make me laugh my ass off. Others will make me think about something long after the credits roll.

But actually make me cry?

That’s a pretty high bar.

Maybe part of it is age. Maybe part of it is experience.

Because once you’ve lived enough real life, Hollywood has some pretty stiff competition.

Real life doesn’t give you background music when something goes wrong.

There’s no perfectly written speech.

Nobody yells “cut” when you’ve had enough.

You lose people.

Relationships change.

Businesses go up and down.

You make money. You lose money. You build something. Sometimes you watch it disappear and have to figure out how to build it again.

Your kids grow up way faster than you thought they would.

People you thought would always be there sometimes aren’t.

And every once in a while, something happens that reminds you just how little control any of us actually have.

That stuff can get me.

Especially as I’ve gotten older.

Not necessarily because I’ve gotten softer.

I think I’ve just gotten better at understanding what actually matters.

When you’re younger, you think strength means nothing gets to you.

You put your head down.

Handle the problem.

Make the money.

Fix the car.

Pay the bill.

Move on.

And there’s something valuable about that. The world isn’t going to stop every time you’re having a bad day.

But eventually you realize strength isn’t about feeling nothing.

It’s about being able to feel something and keep moving anyway.

That’s different.

Maybe that’s why I can’t remember the last movie that made me cry.

I’ve watched enough real stories unfold right in front of me.

I’ve had moments I’d give anything to relive.

I’ve had others I wouldn’t wish on anybody.

I’ve made mistakes.

I’ve had victories.

I’ve watched chapters of my life close that I was absolutely certain would last forever.

And I’m still here.

Still building.

Still learning.

Still trying to become better at 47 than I was at 27.

Maybe someday I’ll stumble across some movie that completely catches me off guard and gets me.

I’m sure there’s one out there.

But today?

I don’t have an answer.

And strangely enough, maybe that’s my answer.

Maybe I don’t need to watch more movies.

Maybe I’ve just lived enough life that it takes more than a movie to make me cry.

— Modern Day Dealer

Flip the Switch.