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Do you think we’re shaped more by our experiences or by who we are?

There comes a point in life when you stop asking, “Why did this happen to me?” and start asking, “Who am I becoming because of it?”

That’s a much better question.

At first, I wanted to pick a side.

Then I realized the truth is far more interesting.

It’s both.

Some of who we are is built into us from day one. Our temperament, our personality, our natural strengths—even the way we process emotions—can be influenced by genetics. You can often see it in children. They have traits that no parent taught them.

But that’s only the starting point.

Life has a way of testing every one of us.

Success.
Failure.
Love.
Loss.
Victory.
Betrayal.

Those experiences leave fingerprints on our lives.

Yet here’s what fascinates me…

Two people can go through the exact same hardship and come out completely different. One becomes bitter. The other becomes stronger. One quits. The other builds.

The experience wasn’t different.

The response was.

That’s why I don’t think life is simply about nature versus nurture.

I think it’s an equation:

Who you are + What happens to you + The choices you make = Who you become.

The first two aren’t always in your control.

The last one always is.

Your past may explain you.

It doesn’t have to define you.

Every morning, you get another opportunity to cast a vote for the person you’re becoming. Every workout. Every business decision. Every conversation. Every promise you keep to yourself.

Character isn’t revealed in the easy moments.

It’s built in the difficult ones.

Maybe that’s why I believe growth is one of life’s greatest gifts. We don’t have to stay who we were yesterday. We can refine ourselves one decision at a time.

The experiences matter.

Who you are matters.

But in the end…

Your choices write the story.

The question isn’t whether your experiences shaped you.

The real question is:

Who are you choosing to become today?

— Nicholas Francis

Modern Day Dealer

Refinement over excess.
Consistency over intensity.
Legacy over lifestyle.